No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Randomize
