ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
