hotel room ftw
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
