please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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