And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
someone owes me an orgasm
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Randomize
