Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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