Life is so much better after having sex.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Randomize