Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
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