Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
