No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
