Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
It's just like the Real World with babies
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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