I cockslap morals
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Randomize