this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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