____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize
