clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
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