I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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