Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Randomize
