yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Randomize
