Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
