I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
she pinky promised me she was 18
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
