i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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