its not stalking. its research.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
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