it was like eating out sand paper
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Randomize
