yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
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