I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
