My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Randomize
