They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
