sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
