Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
