Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize
