you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Holy sore nipples Batman
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
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