I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
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