i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
I can't turn off my feet"
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
