it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
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