Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
