Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
