I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
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