: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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