you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Randomize
