i don't like sucking hair
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
