my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
