too bad you live with your parents still
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
