I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
