I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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