he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
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