Heybabeimwearingurpanties
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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