He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
I'm always down for nudity.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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