then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
