May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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