All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
