fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
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