I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Randomize
