We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
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