I'm going to jail i love you
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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