I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Randomize
