Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
