I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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