Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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