Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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