i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Randomize
